We need to have mastur-debate :)

*Mature themes, readers discretion advised*

Masturbation.

Yes, I am going to write about masturbation. It is the act of pleasuring oneself. What was once a very taboo topic in society, masturbation has become less taboo as more people are doing it and talking about it.

It has a lot of benefits and I want to give you reasons why you should masturbate, at least once in your life. I believe that it is very sensual and it is amazing to find out what your body likes. It is a great way to get to know yourself, to get really intimate, and the more intimate you are with yourself, the more intimate you can be with someone else.

If you know what you like, what your body responds well to, then you can teach someone else how to make you feel great. It is great giving yourself the sexual freedom, to give yourself an orgasm, but I imagine it is even better to have someone else give you one. Many women fake their orgasms with men, because they don’t know your self like you do, so the more you know and the more you tell them will in turn give you a greater orgasm. And this works with men also, they know what speed, grip pressure and movement they would like you to do.

Everyone has their own way of getting off and when we share these sexual preferences we have, this will make the sex even more pleasurable for both parties. For me, masturbation gives me a few seconds of euphoria, and I feel great, relaxed and amazing.

When you are in touch with yourself sexually, you do a lot more, you can try different things, and you can share different sexual experiences with someone, coming closer to them. You can then share your fantasies, fetishes and it’s just a great way to get to know yourself and to bring someone in to your life.

Sex, sexuality and lust are regarded as both positive and negative in this days society. A woman who is very sensual, who is open with her sexuality is often called a slut, this stops women being open about their desires, how they feel, what they want, it stops them from expressing themselves, sexually. Any woman who is open about her experiences, who knows her stuff, who knows exactly what she wants, is regarded as a ‘freak’, but she is just in tune with her femininity and sexuality.

In my opinion, we shouldn’t be shutting out this conversation, we should be talking about it, we should be creating safe places for women who want to be sexual, without having the fear that stems from that. However, saying this we shouldn’t be labelling men either who have sex daily as players, they just want sex they enjoy it so they do it. Every person is different, and we should be open to everyones personalities.

But back to masturbation, there’s no reason not to do it. The benefits are; it helps you relax, it releases sexual tension, orgasms release endorphins which are hormone that block pain, it can help you sleep, improve your self esteem and body image, for women it can also reduce period pains and cramps (planned parenthood.org).

So with these benefits, there is really no argument against it. It is a natural instinct to have sex and reproduce, that doesn’t mean we can’t have little pleasure when doing it.

If you want anymore information then click this link.

I hope that 2018 brings you many orgasms.

Love

Katy Nells xoxo

#9 – Learn to manage your time and money.

As you go into university, you are young and naive. When you leave, you become, mostly, a fully functioning adult.

This means you need to manage your time and money effectively, especially whilst in uni. Money is the one thing you need in uni to survive, you need to buy food, water, you need to pay for your shelter. So you need to come up with a  plan that allows you to pay for your accommodation, as well as leaving enough for you to live till the next loan enters your bank account.

I suggest, allowing yourself an allowance of £40-£50 every week, and not spending it on makeup, or shoes, if you have left over money then fair enough, but the one thing you need to remember is that you do not want to dip into your overdraft, if you have one. This is very dangerous, you are spending money you don’t have, you want to keep your bank account positive as long as possible, as this will mean that you are owing less money when you finish uni (I don’t understand, bank stuff, but its obvious that the money is the banks, you think you have £1000, but you don’t) you don’t want to go bankrupt in your first year of uni, especially when you haven’t even started to live your life yet.

You can get a part time job, but I would only get one if you are motivated and hard working, to do uni, and do shifts as well as uni work on the side. A lot of part time jobs, especially bar work, affects your degree, as you miss lectures. So if you budget your money and keep your spending habits in check then you should have enough. If not your uni may provide a small emergency loan, so you can last till your next loan day.

Time is another asset that students need to utilise. Time, helps you keep on top of assignments, lessons and social life. The key to time is to organise it. If you can effectively organise your time, then your life at uni will be extremely easy. A diary can help, a weekly desk planner, so you can keep on track of assignments, a watch is obvious but really helpful. You need to start your assignments early, so you are not stressing at the last minute. This is common student behaviour, and we all notice it and we want to change it but, you know, we don’t. But if you start by organising your time efficiently and incorporating it in to your every day routine, then doing them early comes natural and it makes life a lot more easier, and nights out a lot more rewarding.

This is just my advice from the experiences I have had. I have spent my loan, I have missed lectures, done assignments a day before the due date, so I know how stressful it is and I have learnt what to do to make my life less stressful. And I hope they make you less stressful throughout your uni experiences.

If you have any ways that you manage money or time then comment below!

Love

Katy Nells xoxo

#8 – Feeling Alone?

Don’t worry, everyone at university feels lonely or alone at some point in their degree. This is because you are in a new environment, you are not familiar with the city, the campus, and you haven’t got your normal support group to help you or be there.

I have felt lonely more than a few times at uni. I have felt isolated, I have felt like I have had no-one there for me, but everyone feels alone at some point. We are constantly bombarded with the ‘perfect friendship’, the ‘perfect social group’.

We have been taught that having friends, being social, is the best thing for us and that being lonely, is undesirable, so when we are lonely, we think that something is wrong with us, when there is nothing wrong. Sometimes we need to be by ourselves to reconnect with our mind, to recenter and balance out what we feel.

If you feel lonely at uni, it is best to talk with someone, maybe the counselling support that the uni has, if they do have one. If not speak to someone who you are close to either at uni, or home. If you let people know how you are feeling, then someone knows. It is best to let people know what you are feeling than to suffer in silence. It’s easy to not speak, it takes courage to tell someone how you are feeling.

My advice to help lessen the effects of loneliness are; find people who replicate the support system (friends) at home, then you will feel a little bit more safer, as there is some normality in this new situation, join sports teams or societies, then you will be with people who share similar interests with you, UCLan has a mentoring scheme, check if your university has one, then apply to join it. Speaking to someone you don’t know is a lot easier than speaking to someone you do.

Just remember, loads of people feel like this, so it is completely normal.

Love

Katy Nells xoxo

Why I don’t like Christmas.

Now that the holiday season is over, I can finally voice my opinion without being that targeted.

I don’t like Christmas. It is a weird time for me. People associate Christmas with family and cheer, and Christmas Day is spent having fun, spending time together, you know being a family.

I don’t associate that with Christmas. If I spend Christmas with family, I find it awkward and weird. It is not something I want to do, to me it is just a normal day except we have a bigger dinner and there is a tree in the corner of the living room.

The memories I have of Christmas aren’t that great. And it pains me to write this because my mum would hate to read this, she loves Christmas, and tries to make every Christmas normal, but our Christmases aren’t normal. To me they are normal and everyone else’s way of doing Christmas is weird, but when I speak of my Christmas experiences, people find it weird.

When my mum and dad were together, when I was younger, around 5-6, it would be fine. But my dad was in the Royal Navy, and he would often have to go on duty, and sometimes this was on Christmas, so I wouldn’t spend Christmas with him. This became a normal thing for me, to have spouts in my childhood where my dad wasn’t there as he would be on duty, either in Scotland, or in middle eastern countries.

My mum and dad eventually got a divorce,  when I was in year six so I must have been 9 years old, and thats when Christmas started to become a weird thing for me. I would spend Christmas Day with my mum, then the rest of the afternoon with my dad and then I would go to my aunties on boxing day.

This then suddenly changed when my mum started to study to become a nurse. She would be on rota on Christmas and New Years, so there has been sometimes where I haven’t spent Christmas with either my dad or my mum, and then there are other times where we have to have Christmas dinner on another day, and we would have to reschedule Christmas to fit my parents schedule, so there has been a few times where our Christmas Day was on the 23rd, 24th, maybe even the 22nd.

I just don’t see the big deal with this time of the year, because my Christmas could be cancelled at any minute, and I believe that we should spend time with our families anyway, not because of the time of the season.

I do understand why people love it though. I often wonder, would I like it if my mum and dad where there at Christmas, or would I still dislike it?

Love

Katy Nells xoxo

#7 – Make sure your heart is in it.

A lot of people rush into university. Whether this is the pressure of society forcing you, or your parents making you go,  or even if you want to go because all your friends are, you need to make sure that your heart is in the right place.

You could be really excited at first, but then as you get further into the year you may feel like you made the wrong decision, and I want to let you know that this feeling is okay. It is okay to feel that. University is not for everyone, lots of people drop out and lots of people apply when they are in their 30’s.

My mum got her university degree to become a nurse when she was 42 years old. There is no limit on education. If you feel like now isn’t the perfect time for you to get a degree, there will always be an opportunity further down the line. Just do what is right for you, no-one else can decide or know if something is okay for you.

If you want to drop out in your first year, second year or even third year, then you know what is best for you, just make sure whatever you do, that your heart is committed to the decision.

But what I will say if you want to leave uni in your third year, you may as well stay, as you have spent money to be there and it will have wasted your time, but ultimately it is up to you.

You are not alone in this, a lot of students go through this, it’s really common. I thought about dropping out at least 15 times last year, but I know the right decision for me is to continue with my degree, this decision though maybe the wrong one for you, or someone else.

My advice for people who are stuck in this situation, would be to write a pros/cons list about your degree, uni life, your health etc, so you can see everything clearly, then make a decision based on that. Just because you have had one bad assignment, doesn’t mean your year is going to be bad.

Just do you, focus on what makes you happy, what will get you through the degree, and if  your happiness will be elevated when you leave uni, then leave. Just make sure you know what you want.

Love

Katy Nells xoxo

What is 2018 for me?

Hey!!

This is my first post of 2018!

So, this year, for me, will be a year where I change. I don’t know how I will change, but I want to change for the better. I want to learn, experience, teach, help, love, smile and make others smile.

I want to better my world. Yes, this is selfish, but I need to look after myself, I need to care only about myself for a while. This means I need to cleanse my mind, body and soul. I need to change my mental state and my physical state. If I want to better the world, I need to better mine first.

My aims for this year will be boring, as I don’t have the means to travel, do stuff. I am limited by money and time, but this doesn’t constrict me completely. But here are my aims;

  1. Write blog posts – at least 5 every month.
  2. Post videos on my YouTube channel.
  3. Stream on Twitch or YouTube.
  4. Become more organised.
  5. Become more motivated.
  6. Face my fears.
  7. Become more knowledgable, learn new skills.Love
  8. Focus on my fitness and health.
  9. Read more.
  10. Start focusing on my future career.

This year I will be turning 21. I will be an adult. This is scary for me, as I will need to get a full time job, and then I will be getting married, having kids, buying a house, it’s all so much.

21 is a difficult age, you are an adult, yet you haven’t really matured yet. We still want to have fun, but society says we can’t. As we can’t provide the lifestyle we want without working. It’s a weird situation, which probably explains why many people born in the 90’s have crisis’s quite often, and why many of them are deviating from the path that we have been told we have to walk down.

But welcome to my 2018 blog. New year, new me? I guess we will see.

Love

Katy Nells xoxo